Some days I’m caught off guard.
Smacked in the face with my awareness
of your place’s emptiness.
A vortex of misery embodying me.
So I try placing the fault at your feet,
but neither of us is
without blame entirely.

Me hating you is what everyone would expect.
Of course then, the idea I just had to reject.
So instead, it was your charming grin,
how it felt with your eyes gazing into mine, and
your laughter which would echo all around me,
that I preferred to have each day begin.
Just a fraction of your conditional love,
Satisfied me for days,
way back then.

I recall previously, such lonely days of length,
creeping into night indistinguishably.
My imagination off and running the show,
taking over that role from my bruised ego.
Once again responsible for my continuation,
just like every time you’d come and go,
I was left weaving tall tales,
for my self-preservation.
© Buffy Lee