Mirror, mirror on the wall,
I don't know this bloke at all,
so look behind me to see who's there;
but in despair it's so unfair
to realise that I'm all alone,
and the roll of fat is mine to own.

Mirror mirror hidden well,
I rarely stop to stand and stare,
for the reflection bids a sad farewell
to a toned physique with lots of hair.
I try a smile but it doesn't work,
in fact it looks quite scary,
for I look like someone who's gone berserk,
to frighten the unwary.

Mirror, mirror on the...