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Born In The Dark
Even though you
used to be my boyfriend
from 2019, that didn't
mean you know me
growing up,
whatever you complain to them
about things I did or what I made you feel.
That never changes the fact,
it is not something I can erase or delete
about myself,
you assume I knew the world around me
had self-awareness exactly just like you.
If you want me to be honest,
before my younger brother came into my life
I was born in the dark,
without any sensitivity or
any negativity within me,
back in my childhood days.
As you didn't know,
I was raised by a married single mom
but as for my dad, he is emotionally
unavailable and a dismissive avoidant parent,
all my life I have been everybody’s favorite little girl.
Even though I was born in the dark
but, I had this good Recognition
whatever I go, and used to be liked by
many people before.
If you ask me “ How can you do it?”
maybe I naturally didn't talk as much
maybe I naturally was around neurotypicals growing up,
that explains why
I behave the way I behave,
in my elementary school days.
Even though I was born in the dark,
they used not know anything wrong
or strange about me,
they treated me well and equally as
everybody was.
Even though I was born in the dark,
if I am being honest
haven't had any friends
since I was born,
in my Redmond High School Days.
Even though I was born in the dark,
didn't know how lonely I was
from the outside world,
in my Highland Middle School Days.
Even though I was born in the dark,
they used to treat me well and equally
as everybody, they didn't know,
how much I behave as a neurotypical
due to my experience being around neurotypical
people, my experience as an only child, my experience of being spoiled growing up.
Even though I was born in the dark,
in my Mercer Island High School Days
at first, everything was sunshine and a rainbow,
used to have few friends who wanted to spend time with me,
never expected my teenage crush,
also liked to be my friend and also
want to spend time with me only
inside of the school.
Even I was born in the dark
didn't know why
some people hated me,
never knew how much
I behaving like a bully
without realizing it,
in my Bellevue College Days.
at first, I used to do things
self-sufficiently,
took the bus on my own
taking four classes by myself,
busy with another language class
in Newport High School every Saturday.
While being busy spending time with
new people and dating you in the
fall quarter in 2019,
if you want me to be honest
even though I was born in the dark
because of my high school past
I used to have my doubts and
my negative belief in dating you,
even though my inner teenage self
craving for friendship and romantic
relationship badly,
afraid of hurting you or people
that you care about.
I can’t help myself
being such a bully
it is how I was growing up
it is hard for me not to be
when I was born in the dark.
-Laura So
© May Gemini Adult
used to be my boyfriend
from 2019, that didn't
mean you know me
growing up,
whatever you complain to them
about things I did or what I made you feel.
That never changes the fact,
it is not something I can erase or delete
about myself,
you assume I knew the world around me
had self-awareness exactly just like you.
If you want me to be honest,
before my younger brother came into my life
I was born in the dark,
without any sensitivity or
any negativity within me,
back in my childhood days.
As you didn't know,
I was raised by a married single mom
but as for my dad, he is emotionally
unavailable and a dismissive avoidant parent,
all my life I have been everybody’s favorite little girl.
Even though I was born in the dark
but, I had this good Recognition
whatever I go, and used to be liked by
many people before.
If you ask me “ How can you do it?”
maybe I naturally didn't talk as much
maybe I naturally was around neurotypicals growing up,
that explains why
I behave the way I behave,
in my elementary school days.
Even though I was born in the dark,
they used not know anything wrong
or strange about me,
they treated me well and equally as
everybody was.
Even though I was born in the dark,
if I am being honest
haven't had any friends
since I was born,
in my Redmond High School Days.
Even though I was born in the dark,
didn't know how lonely I was
from the outside world,
in my Highland Middle School Days.
Even though I was born in the dark,
they used to treat me well and equally
as everybody, they didn't know,
how much I behave as a neurotypical
due to my experience being around neurotypical
people, my experience as an only child, my experience of being spoiled growing up.
Even though I was born in the dark,
in my Mercer Island High School Days
at first, everything was sunshine and a rainbow,
used to have few friends who wanted to spend time with me,
never expected my teenage crush,
also liked to be my friend and also
want to spend time with me only
inside of the school.
Even I was born in the dark
didn't know why
some people hated me,
never knew how much
I behaving like a bully
without realizing it,
in my Bellevue College Days.
at first, I used to do things
self-sufficiently,
took the bus on my own
taking four classes by myself,
busy with another language class
in Newport High School every Saturday.
While being busy spending time with
new people and dating you in the
fall quarter in 2019,
if you want me to be honest
even though I was born in the dark
because of my high school past
I used to have my doubts and
my negative belief in dating you,
even though my inner teenage self
craving for friendship and romantic
relationship badly,
afraid of hurting you or people
that you care about.
I can’t help myself
being such a bully
it is how I was growing up
it is hard for me not to be
when I was born in the dark.
-Laura So
© May Gemini Adult
