Isn’t love terrifying?

When it’s supposed to feel good,
Somehow it always ends up wounding,

But even so, we would beg for more,
Because we yearn for a taste of fulfillment,

So we’re looking for love in places where it gives us crumbs of attention,
Like a dog we eat every crumb that falls from the men’s table,

We fight the other dogs that get more than us,
And none of it will ever make us full,
But it’s okay because they like it flat,
Don’t they?

It’s not enough,
It’s not enough to make them stay,

Because they want fat above the flat,
And fat under our back,

So we starve our bodies,
And we fake our bodies,

And just how they like it,

We're still not full,
So now we make our lips full,

Is it enough yet?

Now they say they like us natural,
But then tell me,

Why when we were "natural",
There was always another,
There was always someone better,
Someone prettier,
Someone smarter,

Nothing will ever be enough,
To receive their love,
Their affection, and full attention,

So we learned to cook,
We read more books,

We clean more and we sleep less,
We listen more and we scream less,

Is it enough?

Now their hands on us,
Paint our face and body with purple and black,
And their words sound more like loathing than loving,

What is so wrong?
Is it the way that we talk?
Is it the way that we move?
Is it the way our hair doesn't fall down to our waist?
Or is it the way that we hurt?

We want to run
But he promised a full dish and no more crumbs,
And if we run,
What if they give the full dish to someone else?

But as the night gets darker,
We already lost what once used to fulfill us,
Yet never fulfill us,

Isn't love terrifying?

What's love good for if it only breaks and burns, yet never ends?

Even when we're everything they lust for,
Everything they ever need,
Yet somehow we're never enough,

Then we realize,
That even after all these walks to perfection,
We're still not perfect,

Because they never want us,
Or anyone,
Or even themselves,

All they want is each night with different bodies,
Because one is never enough,

Fake or natural,
as long as it's fat on some and skinny on the other,

Isn't love terrifying?

Because we love for real,
But they love for fun.

© Thalia Noya