Dear Younger self.
I've been watching you.

Ive watched you swing from your father's arms,
And watched you chase robins in empty parking lots.

You believed in me.

For you, there was no future,
No past, only a
Now.

I've watched you cry for your mother
And love her more than I know how

I've watched you pluck dandelions from the cracks in the sidewalks and,
Run barefoot into the sea.

You knew not my plights but,
Knew only fleeting pain.

You only knew adventure
And a driving list for life.

So I've watched you babble into phones with,
No one on the other side and,
I've seen you spin on chairs until you grew sick.

You didn't know the lonely
When you picked up every toy in the shop
And gleefully tugged your mother toward every want.

And I've watched you
Up on that large stage
Beaming bright as the lights themselves.

I don't know where you fell.
Where you grew conscious
Or where reality took you hostage.

So I've watched you walk back to class
Alone.
And I've watched you when you had no one.

As I kept watching you, I yearned for
The naive, the
Happy, the
Bright.

As I kept watching you,
You looked more and more like me.

I've watched them turn their backs
When you were at your bravest.

And I've wondered how you always believed
They had loved you at all.

I've watched the moments that
Made you crawl inside yourself.

And I've watched them discard you.

You used to believe in me.

For you, there was no
future, no
Past, only a
Now.

Dear Younger self.
I've been watching you.

© Salem Ferrel, All Rights Reserved