I hate the number 2.

Because it's what I have always been.

Since elementary school,
I have walked on the grass next to the sidewalk.
I have walked behind a pair with joined arms.
I have sat alone in the backseat of the car.
I have been silenced during conversation with others.

"Well I-" I would say for the first time.

"Well I-" I would try again.

I figure third times a charm right?

"Well I-" and nobody even glances my way.

I envy found family in books and tv-shows,
For I have realized I could never form a friendship like that.

Someone be willing to die for me?
I can barely convince anyone to hang out.

So I form relationships with the characters I write in my books.

I idealize romance and love,
in hopes it will one day fill the void in my heart and this voice in my head telling me I will never be enough.

I pretend my eyes don't glow green whenever I see videos of friends doing everything together.

I want to be liked.

I want to be loved.

I want to be seen.

I want to be heard.

I want everyone to stop leaving.

I want to be someone's world.

But all of these,are not realistic for someone who is always the

Second Choice.



© SadVerity