I miss those days.
When my life was full of shiny rays.
When my darkest time was when I lost my ball.
I miss those times where my hugest concern was to what form will I shape my clays.
They said it "Time passes in a blink of an eye."
And I couldn't do anything but sigh.
I really wish I was able to deny.
But I can't trick myself with my own lie.
All I can do is try not to die.
And never think of letting out a cry.
I'm an adult now, remember?
I need to be as strong and harsh as timber!
My heart has to be unbroken!
Even if the harshest truth was spoken!
Show no emotion.
And solely handle the worst commotion.
Trust no one.
But should I really be that someone?
Can't I just do the thing I always loved?
Without feeling that my feelings are being shoved?..
Those who claimed to care about me have done nothing but look at me in dismay.
Whenever I tried chasing my dreams, they said that I've gone astray.
And those who "had my back" broke it with their fake heavy burdens.
Desperately trying to prove themselves as the ones who were truly burdened.
As if it was a competition.
And they had to be in the highest position.
But I'm not the one to have that poor cognition.
I'm just fighting for my ambition.
That someday, this picture in my mind will come true.
That despite my broken wings, I'd still be able to fly into a world full of new.
Doing all the things I love and pursuing my dreams.
Showing every emotion from my saltiest tears to my brightest smiles.
Truly living.
Not trying to act alive.

© R.mahmoud