Do you know how it feels
to constantly feel as though you
do not deserve what you have
It feels as though you are not
supposed to be where you are
and yet somehow you are
It feels as though you weren't meant
to make the position you made
and yet it was given to you
perhaps out of pity
The compliments they give you
they look you up and down and up and down
and then turn to look at you in the face again
and they say you're pretty
they say you look great today
and yet it feels wrong
I am not pretty
I am not gorgeous
I am not stunning
I am not beautiful
in the presence of you
you are so much more than I am
in every possible way
and yet you tell me that I am pretty
do you not see how that feels like pity
do not understand how it feels to be me
Will you compliment me standing
in your beautiful dress
while I'm in a tee shirt
My hair a knotted clump on my head
and you're calling me pretty
you tell me I'm so good at what I do
and I got this position through hard work
and skill
and yet I feel as though I didn't
I feel as though I am not meant
to be in the position that I am in
because I feel as though it was given to me
on accident
on chance
because everyone else made a mistake
I didn't for once and therefore I flew ahead
and yet the mistakes I make now
are more than the mistakes they make
and they made one that ruined them
I feel as though I do not deserve
the positions given to me
because the placement that I have been given
is not right
It's too high
it's too much
there's too much involved
It feels as though there's a weight on my shoulders
because if I mess this up it's all on me
and yet they gave it to me
they gave it to me
and said that it was for me
that it was right for this place
and I do not feel...