"My dear, I don't give a fang about your blood type."
Leslie Nielsen

🌈 📖

A #WRITCO Farce

🧃 🥤

I'LL
JUST
TAKE
A
SODA
🥤
PLEASE

🦄 🩸 💨 💨

In the heart of a town where the moon shines so bright,
Lived a vampire named Carl with a peculiar plight.
Allergic to blood, oh what a twist of fate,
Human or animal, it was all off the plate.

Carl David Lumair, with his cape and his cheer,
Would stumble and mumble, "Hold up, let me be clear,
No blood for this chap, not a single drop to share,
I'm an orange-juice-guzzling vamp, if you dare!"

From dawn till the dusk, he'd roam without haste,
In search of fluids to keep his fangs in place.
"Blood is so passé," he'd say with a smile,
"Give me some OJ, to keep me for a while."

With a fridge stocked full of the juicy kind,
Apple, grape, lemonade combined,
Pineapple bubbles in a champagne glass,
Sucking juice pouches, a real class act to pass.

He'd sneak to the orchards, when the humans were asleep,
With a straw in his hand and a pail to keep,
"Blood is for amateurs," he'd whisper with glee,
"I'm Carl David Lumair, the vampire of tea."

Through the cobblestone streets, his laughter echoed so loud,
As he sipped on his banana-split shake, so proud.
"Bloodsucking, it's just not for me,
Give me a strawberry smoothie, let's see!"

The townsfolk whispered, "What a peculiar chap,
Why does he drink like that, like a bat in a trap?"
But Carl didn't care, he'd just wink and say,
"It's the fruity life for me, all the way."

In the local diner, he'd sit at the bar,
Asking for cranberry juice, not too tart.
The bartender would laugh, "You're so odd, you know?"
But Carl just shrugged and said, "Let it flow."

Coffee at dawn, a pint of grapefruit juice,
A gallon of soda, his thirst had no truce.
He'd suck on a straw,...