#WritcoPoemPrompt54
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“I feel my heart is wrenching and ask myself is it all worth it? The pain... the crying... the anguish...”
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I feel my heart is wrenching as I ask myself,
“is it all worth it?”
the pain
the crying
the anguish

Dousing my festering ghastly wounds in rubbing alcohol,
smiling through the black veil of deadly affliction.
midnight had just fallen, and yet it feels as if I’ve fought 1000 wars by now,
sharpend chains and shackles of noxious self-incrimination.
puncture my veins and arteries carrying worth and warmth to the brain and heart.

cold moonlight shining down on the rugged dirt,
as I push my way through the rugged brush.
soaked shoes and Midwestern nights-
smoky streaks of clouds coddle the crescent moon in the blackened sea.
not a star to save you in sight.

Home and my being parted ways,
connection severing more and more each step I take
I made it out, but could I make it?
All I could see in my mind’s eye was old wood paneled walls,
and box tvs shouting televangelism,
preaching to no one in the darkness of my bedroom,
and the air sleeping in its wake.

Sun bleached flies and cut corners,
both wanting to escape from the pain
from the blades.
they’d hit me with the ace of spades,
every time that face turned a page.

I don’t know how I did it,
or where I am,
but I’m away from it all,
the warm glow from the windows drowned out by blue shrubbery.

And even if I’m dying now,
at least my future self can smile every once in a while ,
remembering the shackles and chains.

fighting gave me strength
running saved my life
and now death shall give me closure
laying my past on a bed of roses, porcelain white.

letting the warm light melt the coldness of the night away

-RY
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References

Sun Bleached Flies - Ethel Cain

© Rynne