In the drudgery of my everyday
I find you almost nowhere,
My thoughts you can't infiltrate,
Although once in a while I stare at empty spaces,
My heart is not filled with hatred.
Everything falls into place,
A time when I can't recall your face,
Undisturbed in my own world I made
Without you, where I feel safe
From the travesty that unraveled our love,
And for a moment, relieved, I can forget about us.

Because at the end of a grueling day
No matter how tired my mind and body
You find a way to wreak havoc in me;
When I get home, the silence in my room
Creeps up on me like I've done no healing at all.
Cigarettes calm my senses,
Sad songs distort the present,
Books and movies are feeble distractions,
Talking to my friends offer little consolation.
You appear in the dark as I turn off the lights,
In my bed I feel you holding me tight;
Nestled in your arms, feeling your heartbeat,
I close my eyes and I hear you breathe -
Your smell is what I miss the most.

And the mornings are the worst,
I wake up staring at your ghost,
Seeing us happy, making love in my head,
Promises echo as my eyes turn blood red;
A montage of our togetherness,
Makes it...