wish you could give me or tell me how to get the antidote for these thoughts of self hate some times I can't even tolerate myself...and when I'm by myself I just wish I could do better

thinking I don't do much but I do something here and there and it takes all day just to get a project done ..what have I become will I become undone by the pains or my past and the pain I face day to day the first time
I thought of my own future was yesterday it's sad when all you been doing is living for everything and everyone in a yesterday ...what can you do when you lose someone you love in a million ways and all your days feel cold and empty and you feel guilty

when someone comes along and wants to love you cause your not right in the head and you don't wanna cause pain ...cause you always think of draining the color from your veins but you fight ...fight to survive take care of your responsibilities and family as best you can
expected to...