Dear Mr. 'Esquire',

I'm grateful for your consideration in returning my email as promptly as you have.

I apologise for seeming hyper.
My ADHD is driving me to sleepless nights.
And shorter days.

I'm overwhelmed with fear.

I do have faith though.

If you wouldn't mind hearing me out for a brief moment I'd appreciate it.

I'm a spiritual person.

I believe in Mary, Jesus; the son of God.

I also appreciate The Buddhist's positive affirmative teachings.

Astrology, everyone has a star with their name on it.

The universe, we all have an aura or demeanor about us.

Science, common knowledge tells us the moon exists simply because our astronaut's walk on it and study there.

Angels, lights, oracles, the holy spirit.
They all bring protection, goodness, and guidance.

I'm intrigued by Muslim Women, with their robes and head garments covering all of themselves but their eyes.
We often hear others say, "the eyes are the window to the soul".
Most Muslim women I've had the privilege of knowing had an indefinite depth to them.
Definitely.

The majority of prophecies are hypothetical as I've viewed or observed them to be in my lifetime.
Prophet's use their educated guesses as well as factual information to conclude predictions.
Contradictory to the "norm".
I have no judgements.
I stay away from the "edge".

Is it the "fear of heights" or the "fear of falling" people are afraid of?
Everytime someone falls, the harder it is to get up from the ground up.

Right now I'm literally beside myself because I'm judging another human being.
Envisioning his person being explained by the worst of words that could be said and expressed universally in any language.

I'm furious, livid, disgusted.

Depressed, angered, anxious.

Shocked, hurt, betrayed.

Minimised, mutated and molded.
(A victim of deformation of character.)

Prejudged.

Misjudged.

JUDGED.

Worthless.

Alone.

Alienated.

Lost.

Confused.

Numb.

I feel everything, obsessively studying and researching laws to assertively help advocate for myself.

"Commitment is what turns a promise into reality."
-SecondFortune.com-

And then I can feel nothing at all.
I become so manic depressive; the thoughts inside of my thoughts trigger my PTSD.

Behind closed doors the mental and emotional anguish I went through with him was horrific.
I was severely damaged inside when it came to the view of my own body image.
I was good for nothing.

That's why I always smiled the best I could so people wouldn't ask me questions like, "Are you ok? Do you feel safe? You'd tell me if you weren't right?"

I dissacosiate.
My mind is lost.
I have to sleep.

Confused.

I hope you can understand me.

It was nice of you to listen.

Yes. A call from you when you're ready would be good for me.

I appreciate you.

Honored to be your client,

-Mrs. Alice Atticus Walker



© Amy Jo Koontz