I feel like i have the weight of the world on my shoulders. Like if i was holding the sky like anabeth chase in percy jackson book series. I hear the voices in my head. I hear how they are echoing, how they are getting louder. I hear both sides talking, i feel like flying. I feel like dying and i feel like crying. The weight on my shoulders is tiring. When will i stop trying? Should i drop the bomb? Should i relax my shoulders so the weight will fall, so the weight will stop. The feeling is like a wave. Like deep ocean. I am falling, pretty quickly actually. I think i stepped in a quick sand. I feel like i stepped in a mess. Why do you keep talking. Can you shut up for once? I think ill cry if you say something just once. Why am i even trying? Its all fucking tiring. I think i will be crying? I feel like screaming, but nobody will hear me. Is this the real life? Is this the real pain? I don't want to feel this. Why should i carry the weight of my shoulders when im a teenage girl who wants to be happy. Can everyone shut up? Just for once, just for day, just for a second, just for a minute. Can you hear me out? Can you feel me? Can you see me? Or did i already disappeared. Why am i trying, i really feel dying. Im a mess, maybe i should start flying. I want to be a bird. I want to fly, i want to be free. But how can i? Why is this so messy? Why do they hate, why dont they sort things out? I feel like im between two worlds, i feel like im between two situations. But i am. Its not a feeling its real. I will dropp the bomb, i should drop the bomb. Im falling to the bottom, rock on my stomach, pulling me down into the deep ocean, into the darkness, without any lights without any freedom and without any chance..
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