i went from believing anything was possible to struggling with myself over a number on a scale
i started eating less and less
counting calories like i was dying from lack of air
maybe if i'm skinny he will love me
maybe if i'm skinny they'll like me
maybe if i'm skinny i will be confident
maybe if i'm skinny i could wear what i want
maybe if i'm skinny....i will love myself
i wear sweaters and sweat pants in the summer
and in the colder months wear 3 layers
and a 2 rubberbands on my wrists
weigh myself twice a day
workout all night
go to sleep
and do it again tomorrow

© bella