I have been learning a lot these days, things I wish I learnt a bit earlier than this, I am a beautiful young woman and it was quite obvious to everyone, well I let that get into my head, don't judge me people made me like that. I have always been complimented about how beautiful I looked, anywhere I go I hear words about how black and long my hair was and how blue my eyes were, well I have always felt great about myself.
To cut all this long story short, I developed a syndrome called "spotlight syndrome", I am sure you have never heard anything about this before now let me explain, this Syndrome is when you think the whole world revolves around you and how you matter most more than anything or anyone,well I always thought all the guys around wanted me, I was always telling my friends about how unsafe I was and how various guys were always staring at me, I assumed they were all dangerous to me and limited my social life, this was just my defense mechanism to stay safe.
It got to a point that I started approaching guys and telling them to stop staring at me and that I was going to report them to the authorities, the innocent guys just stared at me and argued, my friends avoided going on trips with me because they claimed I am always disgracing them, I told my mom about this and she told me it's just friends being jealous and they will come around.
I always thought every guy around me wanted a romantic relationship with me so I avoided them, in a way this made me feel happy and proud of how beautiful I was, my sister always called me delulu and that I was thinking too much, well, I was too short on insight to see how delulu I was till today, I learnt about my disorder after watching a video I saw on tiktok, I have never had a boyfriend all because of this syndrome, one part of me should be happy about me knowing about my disorder but I just feel all funny about how I have been deceiving myself so far, so ask yourself, do you have the "Spotlight Syndrome"?

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