In my search for you, I reach no end
You're a cell in my brain, it keeps dividing, till I'm filled with nothing but memories
You reside in me, more than myself
Like a darkened bruise, they all notice it
but everybody's too reluctant to speak about the fact,
That I'm dying

When I close my eyes, you touch my face
I vividly see your smile and my eyes tear open
You're the beat of my heart
I remember when you held my hand,
my breathe hitched
I'm still stuck there, sometimes
I knowingly choke myself, wondering how death will feel

For better, For worse
I promised that my hand will only hold yours

In richness, or poverty
Name anything, and I'll give it if it means you'll be back here with me

In sickness and in health
to love and to cherish

Even after death, after numerous afterlifes
I'll wait for you

For how can I dare to force my heart to beat for anyone else?
When You're the tears in my eyes,
They never stop
they never wait for the right timing
They arrive unannounce and flood me with feelings I never knew existed
When rage swallows my body in a fire,
Gently they sweep in rows, cooling down the stream
I'm my most vulnerable when I cry
My parents don't like tears

But when I'm alone to myself
I cry
Like it's raining
And I dance to my heartbeat, like anytime now you will hold my hand
I cry, whenever I hear you name in public
I search for your eyes in strange faces
Then cry more as I try my best to smile

"I'm grateful we happened, but I wish God would have lend me, just one more moment, it wouldn't have changed the world.

But then I would get to tell you that, everytime you jokingly asked me to marry
I said
Yes
I just never said it out loud..."


© nervous_system