Three years old and I'm crawling
to your space behind the couch
where you look at me like I'm lost
but don't run away when I cradle you

Five years old and I'm one of two people
that you've chosen to trust
claws retracted, warming my lap
becoming best friends

I'm twelve and we've moved house
and when it's sunny I can find you
perched on our neighbours red car
I always smile at how bold you look

Sixteen now and I've been crying
over a boy that isn't worth it
but you're here
rough tongue licking salty tears

I'm eighteen, living with a boy that is worth it
and everytime I visit
you jump in my arms and purr
"what took you so long"

I'm twenty-six this year
and I still look for you on that red car
but visit your stone in the garden
where I wrapped you in my cardigan

and said goodbye.


© Diane Lawlor