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only know you love 'er when you let 'er go :(
dear ex best friend
i want so badly to hate you
but i can't
you broke me into a million pieces when all i ever did was help you
you treated me like shit when all i did was stop you from killing yourself
you used me like a phone charger
and when your battery was full you left me at 0%
i needed you
i helped you when you were at your worst and how you repayed me was by telling me we were never ReAlLy best friends
you hated me because people found out what you did and asked if you were ok
you hated me from the start and only used me to make yourself feel better
but i hope you're good
genuinly good
and i wanted to say thank you
even though you broke me into a million pieces when you left
thank you
thanks for the trust issues
and the self loathing you contributed to
thank you
because i hope you are better
i hope you become better with how you treat your friends
i'm not mad..just hurt
because even though you hurt me
even though you hate me
i still love you and want what's best for you and your life
every memory since you left is totally fucked 'cause all i can think of is how you should be there
every sucess i celebrate i always think of you
do you ever think of me?
do you even remember what you did?
i want you to remember
always remember
all the words i told yu when you were feeling down on yourself
and if you ever fall i hope you find the strength to get back up i know you can
i know you will
the person i saw inside of you can handle it all
you're strong
stronger than you will ever know
and beautiful you don't see it but everyone around you does
you have this light inside of you that shines
and you're intelligent
you inspired me and made me want to be better
and even though doing this without you by mu side is 1 of the hardest things i've ever had to do
i'm doing it...
ad i wish you could see me
i hope you would be proud
i wish you could see me transform into this new person
but you're not here
i once told you i could conquer the world with 1 hand as long as you were holding the other
but now all i have is the memory of you holding it
but i will still conquer the world
no matter where you are
like i said
i want to hate you
but i can't


© bella