It is when I am laying by my open window,
in the midst of my darkest nights,
staring for any star I was able to make out
in the dark light polluted sky,
that memories of all the people
who have come and gone,
shoot back into my minds atmosphere.

It's demoralizing to accept it,
A light that once brightly shined
despite the floods of fear and doubt,
now lays masked by the permanent glow
of the incidents and mistakes long gone.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with desperation,
I want to jump into the cold air of the night,
fly through the empty sky,
trying anything which might remove the blemish
blocking up the sky,
knowing full well that the wind would fight me,
and without any exact direction or pace.

But of course, I'm stuck by my window,
holding back the irrational thoughts and actions,
because ultimately they are gone,
forever placed out of my reach.
No amount of reaching hopelessly,
or climbing aimlessly,
can change that.

© Robert Taylor