If I have to hear one more pitch-corrected auto-tuned quantized soulless song by some hot young artist who probably can sing but doesn't really have to and doesn't write their own songs or does with the help of seven other songwriters...

If I have to hear one more melancholy ballad remixed into a dance-pop tune because apparently melancholy is a banned emotion now and god forbid if the young are forced to experience a complex emotion because of art...

If I have see one more social media ad telling me my plastic chopping board is giving me cancer and my wooden one is infected with rabies so I should really buy their shiny new titanium chopping board forged by Japanese master metalworkers who really should be making swords but find them too hard to sell on Instagram...

If I have to see or hear one more techbro on a podcast explaining his morning routine and the seven rules he followed to find success and how you could find it too if you only signed up to his substack newsletter or bought his self-help book or online course on sale for $39.99...

If I have to hear one more conspiracy theory about vaccines causing autism or causing frogs to turn gay or causing immigrants to eat cats and...