Family was termed togetherness by people far and wide
Couple ventured into that same illusion craving togetherness
Siblings placed their hope in a youth that was filled with togetherness
All these were like a lapse in reality when we flow into the vibes that emanated from the deep recess of my family

Was there a moment I didn't feel lack?
Was there a moment I actually felt love?
Was there a moment I didn't feel stupid?
Was there a moment that I didn't feel dejected?

My existence was a struggle, a nightmare
The family that would have shed my weakness to procure strength ended up being the rearer that opens my butt to the public to see

With their deceptive smiles, they act like they care
But with words sharper than razors they tear me apart
How could they be so cunny and heartless in their steps?
How could the togetherness be seperation-ness

Why are they so vile?
Is it me?
Am I really the problem?
Am I really that unbearable and dumb?

I know I make mistakes
I know I should communicate more but at what cost
The cost of my words fallen like rocks in the bottomless ocean
The thought of my family lack of expression draws at my strings like acid.

My thoughts goes to my acts that are never praised
It seems it's just me and every other is mooning around the house
I give it my 100 but end up being subjected like it was 20
Constantly being subjected to emotional torture like I was not a human

They say they love me but their acts are a-dismal
They say they will be there for me but are a-contrast
They say they will hype me up when none will but they are a-venoumous

Do I need a hug?
Oh yes!
I need someone to hug me and tell me that I'm not as worthless as I think I am.
All I ever wanted was to be shown, I matter.

© favody