How can I have survivors guilt
When no one actually died?

How can I express the pain I feel
Knowing you were terrified?

I’m selfish and a cohort
A tool that caused you pain.

In parents hands you suffered
While all I knew was gain.

The pride and joy. The gifted child.
The favorite, by far.

I didn’t know the comparison
Would always be a scar.

A pawn they pushed around the board.
A foot held on your chest.

I didn’t know they made me queen
And we were playing chess.

I’m angry that I didn’t see
The war in our own home.

I’m angry that they placed me there.
A porcelain doll on gilded throne.

© SKM