We didn’t talked for over two years
And you don’t know my new problems and fears.
You aren’t my teacher anymore
But that’s good because I wouldn’t go back to before.

But then you sat down next to me
And it was like someone would finally see.
See that I am struggling and am not okay
And then there were the words you always say.

,,Are you alright?’’
No, I am not. I stay awake all night.
But of course I said yes. I don’t want anyone to know
You didn’t believe me that I wasn’t feeling low.

I told you again that I am fine so you can relax.
But then you asked if I still have these panic attacks.
I said no but in my head the question is still there
Why do you suddenly care?

You didn’t care for so long
And now I am back in that time were I needed you because I wasn’t strong.
My head is filled with flashbacks from the class trip,
My head is filled with memories and feelings I just want to skip.

It was hard accepting that you wasn’t there for me anymore,
I couldn’t handle my feelings and my heart just felt sore.
It was hard work getting over the memories and the things you do,
But I got through.

It was just so confusing,
And my legs were constantly shaking and moving.
I had this deep fear in me that it’ll all happen again
But I lied to you so this was hopefully the end.

© lisann