Whom to blame now
I look around found no one
Maybe it's because
I am drowning because of myself

Or maybe that's what I always do
I blame others as an excuse
I run from everything
What hurts me or I can't handle

Maybe I know I am weak
And I can't do the things
So I blame others

I really don't interact
much with others
I am afraid if I will not be like them
so pepole will push me
so before them pushing , I push them
and stay alone always

Asked myself what is killing me
honest answer my heart gave is
I never feeled enough love
there is some emptiness inside

It was not really always
like how I seem to be today
I was that bubbly talkative
extrovert girl who don't
give a fuck about anyone

But this world makes
13 year old girl to feel
it's wrong to talk to much
wrong to be so friendly
not safe for us
some boy abused me
when I was so innocent to
know what does that means

So this world taught her
to be so strong not to show her
emotions or Even feeling that
is wrong i started being alone
I tried to make my self
good girl what world like
I was in soo much love
in teenage year
I literally gave all my love
and he too taught me

To be like rock so hard
that no one can enter inside my heart
but he already reached inside
I really loved him alot more than anyone

But the thing was
I was carrying emptiness
inside which no one can fill
but my mother's love
what that small girl never got
however it was never her mistake
because my mother don't deserve what
she went through but neither did I

I loved him and still do
he too loved me and loves me
but it's not any of the things
I ever dreamed of
he's not the same as before
it's not his fault
but the world does this to him
because my love don't deserve
what he went through
but neither did i

My love loved me a lot
he listened me more than anyone
he was soo sweet
and so innocent to love

And then this world fucked
and make him a man
not to cry not to express
to carry some heavy responsibilities
on shoulder and be tough

In all this process
he get mature responsible
and my innocent pure heart died

All my loved once don't deserve
what they went through
but neither did I

I love you and will always