You looked at me like I was someone special
and I held onto that moment
How many years passed by in which I was no one
and never dreamt to be someone
I clung to that wonderful moment
I wanted to be forever yours
I wanted you to love me like no one else would
Only God could
and like I'm a person good enough
a young wife good enough
to stay with all your life
to give a spiritual part of yourself to
and your whole physical body to
but it wasn't all about you
it was about me and my selfish vanity
and that's why I lost you
that's why I don't deserve you
Now perhaps you'll never touch me again
or look at me like that ever again
maybe you will never want to be with someone like me again
maybe I made you feel unworthy
maybe I confused you about who I am and what I desire
But I didn't want you to like someone like me
I wanted you to adore me.
Sometimes I think I'll always love you
and the next moment that I'm too crazy to truly love a man
So only God knows if there is someone
out there made for me
or if I will end up an 80 year old old maid.

© @elsastrauss7