Taking a short break
work is mundane
it's Thursday though so the workload is tame
even when the day is unpredictable the same
like my usual routine
simple and clean
wish my snowglobe was the same way
It's so foggy and unkept
the blizzard keeps it hazy and discontent
All week since Monday or was it Tuesday
I've been wanting to never leave my bed
play my tunes, turn off the lights
fade into oblivion like the moon
as he sighs, feeling as depressed as I do
saying he'll see me soon
if I can find him, hanging in the sky
an ornament on a blue Christmas tree
but I'm getting away from my point of being here
even though my purpose is vague and unclear
it's mostly a whim
thinking today has been pretty thin
in place has been daydreaming
wandering in streams and meadows
craving a pillow
or like a romantic movie
using someone's lap as one
I know I don't need permission
to transition into the topic of choice
but it's configured into my program
to ask and telegraph intentions
as I bring it up to mention
the coworker I discussed in entries past
Current youth and social media lingo
would call it simping
would call it sprung
the elders in my workplace would say it's because I'm young
the people around me if they knew would call it dumb
she'd just laugh and say it's ok
we're cool, we're just friends
even though it would hurt
more than blades could
To what good would it do
to chase the end beyond the means
she's married, in years that mars my lifespan
do I have any sort of backup plan
to prove better than her man
her husband she fought tooth and nail
for and against
in wars I could probably not comprehend
so dubious, yes, to reiterate
when I don't get sleep
I am stupid
yet stick with me, here me out
I pine in secret, my heart doesn't beat
to take hers away
breaking hearts, being a homewrecker
taking people away
it's not my style, it's not my game
though it was never mine to say
it's my decisions and the fallouts
that ends as my callout
my responsibility to take the hit on the chin like a champ
even when the force puts my back on the mat
it's what I deserve, what it really means to be a man
or at least a decent human
She's, though, very appreciated
she may have more experience but
she understands my progressions
she sees my eyes and doesn't turn away
yet I'm the one embarrassed that I always get caught
I'm the one embarrassed when she winks
cause in my head, I'm reading too...