To my ex-bestfriend,

I respected you a lot. I deeply cared for you.
I wanted so so much to have you care for me too.
But I don't think you ever did. You never had.
I was the convenient option. The only option.
The one in all your classes and such.
And so you stuck with me despite disliking me.
Harbouring so much hatred at small things.
And over time, it accumulated and you held it against me.
Held it all against me.
And now we share no classes.
You say you're branching out; that's why we don't talk as much.
But that's not true.
You just don't like me.
And now you're dating my ex boyfriend, aren't you?
And I don't like you.
I tried so hard to be your friend.
But you were cold and rude and detached and held so much against me - all little things you never talked about so how was I to know?
So I hate you too.
I left that group of friends all those years ago to be with you.
To be your friend.
But fuck me, I guess.
Fuck you too.

From the person who tortured herself for years trying to befriend you

© stele
#excuse #friendship #betrayal #Hate