It's not that I'm sad,
But I cry each night I'm in my room.

It's not that I'm happy,
But oh how energetic I feel when with others.

I don't feel like myself, this isn't me.
I don't feel alive.
My days are going by again like they always had, just wasted like cigarettes on a plater.

It's not that I don't love you,
I really do.
It's not that this hurts me,
But it really does.

I beg for others attention,
I'm constantly talking to others,
Begging for a chance to feel alive again.
I don't feel alive even when I do,
My throat goes sore and my eyes blink,
Time floats by like a skater on a rink.

It dosent feel like me,
I feel like I'm changing, I don't want to change.
I don't want to give up on you.

But honestly it wouldn't be true if I said I didn't think about me leaving you,
Would it even make a difference to you?

Swear I get it,
But it hurts so much to see you act like I'm irrelevant.
That's how it feels.

You said somthing before our exam today,
I apologized for not paying much attention to you at that minute cause I had to care for amina,
You said ok and that you didn't care.

Am I the loser then if I'd care

I don't feel like me,
You don't treat me like you used to,
As if im now a used toy that no one really wants.

You don't think about me, I don't think you do
You don't talk about me, I don't think you do
You don't care about me, I don't think you do
You don't love me, I don't feel like you do.
Not anymore anyways.

I remember the days I'd come home after being with you and just talk to myself about how loved I felt and how happy I felt.
I haven't felt that in a while.
I always think that it's getting better after a minor convenience, but it dosent get better, it hasent been getting better,
Sometimes it feels like forever.

I don't feel like me.
My hair is straight,
My physicality is in a messed up state,
I talk too much then go silent at home,
When I cry and tears fall, I hug myself and imagine you close,

It's been so long

It's been so long, it's been such a while,
Since somebody made me feel like life was worth while,
Since somebody made me feel like I was worth it,

Since somebody made me feel loved,
Since somebody was there,
Since somebody had the time to even fucking care.