My mind is a haywire
of dark thoughts
Of lonely clouds
and deep water
Sometimes I drown
without knowing
and I never come back up
for a long while.

Walking hollow-eyed
with barren feelings
I didn't want to be in.
Dejected by truth
Burning fairytale
There's no truth
to dreaming
with the eyes wide open.

Faking the rainbows
While I'm bathing in rain
Swallow all the poison
Taste the bitterness
Wipe off the icing
and throw off the cake
It's always tiring
to pretend.

How do you deny
a bewitching dream
waving in front of you?
Do you turn around?
Do you walk away
from the embrace
of the warm sunlight
and smell of a new day?

Sometimes I detest
breathing the same air
you're breathing.
Sharing the same space
Sharing the same moment
Sharing a life
I could never
live with you.

I want new leaves
I want new skin...
Shed off my bark
Shed off my color
I want to be something else
Entirely die from this me
Be born in another body
devoid of abnormality.

But the truth is selfish
Cruel and searing
I'm afraid of this world
to treat me like an enemy
I'm lurking in the sidelines and dark corners
Hiding from the light
before they could see me
behind the shell.

"You've to set it straight"—they said
As my heart beats in the wrong path
"It'll burn you in the end"—they said
But this heart is hard to persuade
Confused of why's and how's
Wandering aimlessly
Trying to find my way home.

I hate you
Reminding me of reality
Yet... I still like you
Intoxicated by your warmth
Blinded by your sunlight
Tied to that invisible string
You have no idea off.
Unfortunate.

But I lied...
If to tell myself I'm fine
And have set myself free
I hate you...
To the depths of my desires
and the ventricles of my heart
I'm breathless and powerless
Lost and delirious.

Hate?
Laughable.
I like you and I shouldn't.
Isn't it unfair that I always fall
and not the other way around?
Nobody knows the truth
But me and my shadow.
Melancholic.

© astaire_grey
🥀
#writco #forbidden #mistakes ? #lost #melancholy