Drowning in frustration and melancholy
each day I try to survive and not to give up
I always get the feeling that things will be alright someday,
but it seems like that someday will never come.
my biggest achievement at the end of the day is staying alive or not dropping an ocean of tears.
I always hated nights because they are the part of the day where my deepest feelings and emotions wake up,
each night I bury my face in my pillow and cry till my throat begs for mercy while I try my best to keep calm so that my parents will think that their cheerful daughter is strong
I act strong and play the tough, but inside I'm just a cry baby with insecurities
"u can gain ur confidence back" is the biggest lie that would anybody tells u, u can live with it and control it, but changing something on ur personality is impossible, because u can't change the real u.
it's okay to fall apart sometimes and cry and be scared it's a human nature
it's okay to isolate urself from everyone else and have a break from social ...actually it helps .. the less people around u, the better u feel, the more energy and power u'll get to keep breathing , and the less fears u'll have, because there will be nobody to disappoint.
but no matter what I'm still that silly girl that easily smiles,
smiles when it rains
smiles despite of pain
smiles ... and let it aches

© Titania