Have you ever looked at the one you Love and just realized God, how is it possible this woman is with me? I ask myself this everyday and just smile, damn she is with me....

You ever look into her beautiful eyes and see the milky way, and for a split second think this woman is a creator of worlds, and lives, and is a goddess unto herself? Yes, yes I do,every damn beautiful day, but realize somehow this Goddess, this creator, this one in a trillion came down from Olympus and chose me from the millions. A mortal man by all accounts, she chose.....Me... What is that all about? She chose... Me..Me. Why leave the God's and choose a flawed, broken, shell of a man? Born to Lose,Abused, molested, always second bested, she could have walked down, but she chose to fly, because I needed her, and she knew why.

Because when my brother Casey died my life had a literal blackout. Blackout, as in devoid of light blackout, as in drink myself to death but even death didnt want me, Blackout. As in I'm the oldest child, leave your family behind to chase your own dreams, so mom is home crying everyday, Blackout. As in drive drunk, hoping for a single car wreck.....Blackout...As in my bestfriend, baby brother, crushed under a car, because he didn't where his seatbelt, three days after graduating high school, moving in with me to go to...