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Experinces
I have been the girl who met a guy that gave her a gift, a box that had a thousand reasons to live and left me, left me with total solitude, left me to an outburst, led me to a total selfishness, until my shadow grew tired of it and sucked my happiness,
so I sobered up, it didn't help.
so I laughed, but it was totally fake.
then I became a whole lot different person, I was an ordinary depressed girl, as strong as my mental thoughts so I belive, and as fragile as a broken glass you left in me.
it's funny I felt so invencible that knowing facts and theories especially when you cant break broken things.
I grew tired of beautiful things,
even beautiful girls have no experience of lonlyness and getting tired of same old things.
the sky had different colors but it was the same to me,
there are different flowers even though they bloom just like me, exept will I ever be.
I accepted who I was and realized even though I wasn't enough I couldn't care less just to be proud.
I helped people with thier problems,
I wanted to make other people happy because I can't,
I was rediculed till I became sensitive,
I was bullied and experienced, thinking this is life so I became used to it.
I thought that everyone had wings but chanes to break, even a therapy to go to, because pills and drugs wasn't enough to shake thier imaginations and can't make them teleport to a world of happiness and peace,
all people really wanted a new world where there is no sadness and pain, they didn't even knew they were causing it, atleast karma cared.
my depressed ass couldn't take it so I laughed at mental health jokes and memes maybe I'll even get cured by it.
I knew even if I was depressed I was the one who was with the depressed ass but loved herself,that's why when I knew I was depressed I started installing apps with self care even though it wasn't therapy I couldn't care less cuz I'm still alive,it's like depression was modern sadness, solitude, guilt etc. but atleast it was my best friend, and I never knew empty places and empty corners was great and being alone was all that I need because I felt safe and atleast the dark would never speak to me like everybody else.
maybe we all are just too sensitive for the words we all give out to ourselves.
thank you for reading I wish you too love yourself.
so I sobered up, it didn't help.
so I laughed, but it was totally fake.
then I became a whole lot different person, I was an ordinary depressed girl, as strong as my mental thoughts so I belive, and as fragile as a broken glass you left in me.
it's funny I felt so invencible that knowing facts and theories especially when you cant break broken things.
I grew tired of beautiful things,
even beautiful girls have no experience of lonlyness and getting tired of same old things.
the sky had different colors but it was the same to me,
there are different flowers even though they bloom just like me, exept will I ever be.
I accepted who I was and realized even though I wasn't enough I couldn't care less just to be proud.
I helped people with thier problems,
I wanted to make other people happy because I can't,
I was rediculed till I became sensitive,
I was bullied and experienced, thinking this is life so I became used to it.
I thought that everyone had wings but chanes to break, even a therapy to go to, because pills and drugs wasn't enough to shake thier imaginations and can't make them teleport to a world of happiness and peace,
all people really wanted a new world where there is no sadness and pain, they didn't even knew they were causing it, atleast karma cared.
my depressed ass couldn't take it so I laughed at mental health jokes and memes maybe I'll even get cured by it.
I knew even if I was depressed I was the one who was with the depressed ass but loved herself,that's why when I knew I was depressed I started installing apps with self care even though it wasn't therapy I couldn't care less cuz I'm still alive,it's like depression was modern sadness, solitude, guilt etc. but atleast it was my best friend, and I never knew empty places and empty corners was great and being alone was all that I need because I felt safe and atleast the dark would never speak to me like everybody else.
maybe we all are just too sensitive for the words we all give out to ourselves.
thank you for reading I wish you too love yourself.
