how much must I have lied to myself
in order to completely
and utterly forget who I am?
who I was
who I wanted to be

nurture me into the soil
wrap my face in tinfoil
cut my flesh until I recoil
I'm going to stay in bed today

greed and avarice
fluorescent solitude
did I grow up too fast?
or maybe just too fucking slow
at some point I just woke up like this
tinnitus, my etude
could this day be my last?
I have lost my glow

I sometimes wish that I was a crow
so that I could fly myself into your window
smash myself into that glass
(over and over)
and I would pass
over (and over)

then you would see me for me and I would be me, for me

I will enjoy the ten thousand ice cold punches in my face
the emotions, gone without a trace
this place never asked me for rent
alienated without intent
head bent
application sent
and my bills are due

this burden is mine alone
submerge me into stone

© pissprophet