There are days when I find it so hard to get out of bed.
My past thoughts, actions, and words are like fishies inside my head.
They eat away at my resolve and they crap all over my happiness.
And so I just resort to staying in bed all day.

There are days when i wake up to myself crying.
It's an unconscious effort to make me feel like I'm flying,
But in the end it makes me feel even more groggy,
And i start the day puffy eyed and crusty.

There are days when i just want to give up.
Days where i can't even create the energy to cry,
Or lie and say that I'm fine.
Those days...those days really get to me,
Because I dont really know what's wrong.

And then, there are the days where nothing is wrong.
When I'm genuinely happy, healthy, and healed.
And I wonder why I even felt those ways in the first place,
I dont know what even happened to that arms race in my head.

Those days? Those days are the worse.
Because when those days end, it makes me remember the times when I was considered normal,
The times where everyone wouldn't ask me if I was okay.
And those days, I just really think.

I think about how my life has gotten to where it is at.
I think about the people I meet and how i love them so much.
i think about the choices i made and the regrets i dont have.
Because, i dont think i regret anything.

Because even on the worse days and the best days of my life,
i can wake up.
i wake up. That's the best part.
i don't have to be some great person those days,
i don't even have to get up.
i woke up. And i think that's enough for today.
© Liyah Lee