To my dearest friend ,

(Fuck you and your friendship first of all)

You can choose to stand by while I fall down,
You can choose not to give a hand while I try to get back up ,
For better or worse , It was my decision to carve you into my heart in the name of friend ,
It was I who stubbornly chose to love you ,
It was I who deliberately sat with you in the storm and summer after ,
So I'll give you that

But you don't get to make fun of how I hang on to the cliff,
Or laugh at how awkwardly I am hanging ,
Or criticize how bad my hands are shaking ,
Or scrutinize how my sobbing isn't real enough,
Or to poke at my chest to guess if it could bleed yet beat,

Not after all the times you had to step on my bearings to get out of your own shit ,
Not after all the times you had to crawl on my back to get out of your own...