Do you ever listen to the words you see?
Have you read, heard and search for your name and asked yourself, "But where does that leave me?"

Seems no difference..first name last or last name first,
Beginning to end, top to bottom, or even in reverse.

Never expected the gold, silver or bronze...
Nor the top handful really, who the hell do I think I am? No Marilyn and not cool enough to be "the Fonz"

Somewhere in the mix or even on the page,
So many to be respected or considered before, no worries, pay no mind, no rage.

Even just the first in combination with any of too many a plenty surname..
An honorable mention, just to be included or seen somehow as part of the game.

My benchseat always warm to worn and "on deck" seemingly synonymous with solitary or better luck next time.
The roster forever full, the candidates too many to rate...at the back, end credits ....forget ever making the headline.

Each new season or new beginning, new list, group or family
Why do I still find myself hopeful to scan the list and see a hole or space for me.

"Persistence beats resistance" they say,
recently touched me learned resistance works the same way.

I still hold out freezing inside out with hope that patience will find me there,
Maybe not at the top, or even in the middle...just maybe tossed in somewhere.

When time after time no list would represent me, optimistically I drew my own pen.
Scribed, scrolled, creatively lettered...make my own list and then maybe I would recognize my name somewhere else once or again.

Earlier on...how I would imagine my sparkle dazzling on the book cover, title page or maybe the table of contents...
Turning, flipping page after page....over time ashamed to admit I still hope with each seek to find attempt.

Redundantly, unrelentlessly