9.13.23

I don’t know what hurts more
Believing the lies or watching you walk out the door.
This constant battle within my soul fucks with me,
Did I just ignore the warning signs or was I so blind I simply didn’t see?
Is this harder for me because I have to admit failure, admit I was so wrong?
Am I really that selfish or am I defeated because this war lasted way to long?
I tried to change everything about me, everything you constantly told me you hated,
And now matter how hard I tried you could never be sated.
You drained my spirit and my soul like a vampire, and yet somehow I believed I needed you for fucks sake,
There were so many days I asked myself, “How much more can I really take?”
It wasn’t always bad days, that I can honestly admit,
Where sometimes I believed the good would overcome all the rotten shit.
It was those good moments that probably broke me more than anything it seems,
Because in those moments I truly believed we would live the way we always dreamed.
I would have moved Heaven and Hell to make it our reality,
Yet you couldn’t even respect or match me in that energy....