My mind
a very delusional place
Each thought with thousands of meanings
Each meaning birth a thousand more.
my mind, a home to fantasies
Fantasies that come alive in colours so bright, you could actually taste them
The fights in here are dramatic, so tense they send my body into a limbo.
from curiosity over the next outburst to the never ending depths of this place...
there I find, random reasons, thoughts, words, sights and happenings.
there I find things so shocking, I twist my face in horror.
which in turn leads to a snap at those immediate to my heart.
Doubt begins to build up in me.
My actions towards them change like I lost all my fortune to them.
I keep these thoughts at heart, build on them as I continue to sink in the spirals of thoughts I made up

I turn this feelings into a principle, I make a mantra out of it
I continue to abide by my self made principles
Fill myself with belief of righteousness, I put myself above all others.
I gradually become a shadow of what I used to be
drawing nearer to that which I hated.
I put these principles of mine above all others, ignoring signs that showed otherwise
I ignored the path towards the light, drowned myself in pool of hate
I carved out a path I felt was right, instilled fear in myself if I did anything else.
I made a competition out of everything
Wanting to be the best, even at things so minute, they weren't worth the stress
I let my mind lead me, became a slave to the demons within.
I held my head high, and with a smile on my face, I moved on with what I felt was life
Despair and anxiety had nested in a mind I was weak to control.
I let my mind be the ruler, I let things beyond my ability get the best of me.

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