I'm staring at this cloudy weather and it keeps hurting my soul
Pushing my mind to remininsce on that 2 am conversation;
Oh yes I remember!
How could I forget that 2 am conversation that got me up all night on a cloudy day
I remember being vulnerable on the most exciting topics in one night
I remember hating being excited again for another imperfect soul
He wasn't the most Charming but he was the one that I was unable to let go
He knew how to get under my skin without trying.
Everyday my heart grow fonder of this imperfect human
He made me risk it all
I stopped believing in promises for a long time
But this moment was different
It wasn't a promise
It was a statement I held on to for the longest time
He was chaos and cure
He was everything I wanted and everything I wished he could become
I risked it all and held on to what could be
Too scared to look into the eyes of "Reality"
My eyes were on him
His words were my life boat
That was everything that would save me from drowning

Now I have been thinking
"Did I ruin it all "
I blamed everything I could blame except you to avoid the hurt
I thought you would be the one to save me from drowning
But if you were going to let me sink
You shouldn't have let me float
It's unfair to blame Fate when it's you who ruined fate
Life didn't even have to try ruin anything this time ,you ruined it all
I would forever blame you for making me believe you were gonna be my life boat when you should have let me sink and drown in my loneliness
It's worse when you feel dry and in another minute you are drenched again
I would always blame you
But I would always blame myself more
I should have let that hand go when it started to sting
My soul got ridiculed in the worst way
No one ever told me Delilah could also be in the form of a man
Now this would always be a tragic love story that would always ruin me
A cloudy weather intertwined with memories of a tragic love story.




© ~lisa xoxo