Cute.
That's what I thought when I first saw you.
With your loud laugh, you're cheeky
Humor and your fierce heart, I swore you
You were the most promising thing I've
Ever seen.

You were dark with the sweetest soul,
Your cold demeanor, a mirage of what
Were make-believe to push people
Away, the very thing that pulled me
Closer to you.

You were somewhat a comfort.
A touch of heaven with a dash of
Whiskey moments, drunken mistakes
I'd choose to do over again and again.

You were intoxicating.
Like quite a summer morning,
And crazy winter storms, I always
Wanted to hold you close and never let go.

The high-end walls that you built
To protect your heart I broke, and
And I invaded every thought you
Could hold. I gave you my time,
My smiles and my calculated mind.

You didn't want much.
You just me to be me. Without broken
Promises and lies that I kept telling
You. You'd let me cry if it hurt, and you
Caressed me when I needed comfort.

Your kisses were like soft waves in autumn mornings. Your touch, a one in a million
Experience that kept pulling me back to
You. You gave me your heart, a fraction
Of your life and a moment of what you
Could never have back.

You looked at me like I was all you
Could ever see. But I played you.
I made you a fool and I broke your heart.
The walls that you so had, I broke only
To give you nightmares.

I made you feel important but I just left
Without saying goodbye.

I left you to question your identity.
The standard life that you had, I made
Mine and brought nothing but chaos.
You were strong, happy and you were
Special, I left you weak, sad, and broken...

You once told me that you loved me.
You told me you cared, and your actions
Showed it. You taught me life and all I did
Was break the awesome human you were.

Only if you knew...

Only if you knew that monster I was.
Because behind this cute face was a broken girl
Ready to break another. You gave all you could
Give, and I just threw back at you.
Left nothing but despair and heartache.

You swore I was the one.
But I knew I was the one to break your heart
And left you unwilling to live anymore.
Your little diamond heart I crashed into
A million pieces that got lost in dreams
And nightmares I had created.

You made me your home, only
To rob you of life that meant the world
To you. When you cried because of me,
I lost everything that could ever matter.

I was just a selfish broken girl hoping
To find comfort because of her dad issues
And trust misfits. I made you a bet that you
Weren't deserving of. I played you for a
Fool and you believed me. You believed me
In the name of love.

In the same way, you started hating me
For it. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry for breaking
Your little diamond heart, for taking your cute smiles, your romantic gestures, your head kisses,
Holding my hand in public claiming me
As you girl.

As you said, you didn't need a lot.
You just wanted me to be me. And I was.
I never lied to you. I was a broken girl
Trying to find someone to love her broken heart.

I guess I broke you too. And you were not
Deserving of that.

~Black_Phoenix

**********************************************
To this kind soul whom I broke.

I hope your beautiful soul heals. I hope you love it like there is no tomorrow, I hope it gets better... I'm sorry human.


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