With my numb cheeks on a brocken chair
I remain straight with a lot of restrain
been silent even when thoughts are hard to bare
it is needed to prevent getting hit by those wild train.

With them I travel,
an adventure,perhaps a torture
parallel to eachother, Im the rebel,
crows and rats are something I lure.

Their skin is so pure
but inside's so dull
with their crown they're always full
with their heels they step on the fool.

They're all so black
but shadows they block
how confusing it is
people see them as symbol of peace.

With eyes inside the ocean
blurs perceive them as light.
Their appearance an image of twilight,
the character in a serene night.

With an eye so open,
see what's behind that den
but why do people know nothing,
filtered eye must be the thing.

They sure achieve high
but they cut the wings that fly
for they can only jump
so they bring down those wings to dump.

Here I breathe with my brocken chair
as their noisy voices fill the air
as we link touches that I couldn't bare
as I catch gazes with a lot of pair.

Communication I wouldn't dare,
too disgusted by their air
but who am I to sit on the rainbow
as it belong to them and Im here to bow.

I'd rather run with the storm and rain
than share an umbrella they made
as I know they'll treat me as a vain,
I can't take more of their gift that holds pain.

As I chose to stay away from their big waves
I saw my self crouching at the shore
I saw them fighting with much bigger waves
I was left behind with my fear opening the door.

Maybe succumbing with them was the choice...
but I am too odd to be mixed with their pond.
I've got nothing to offer, not even my voice
I am the coward that cannot share a bond.

Maybe I focus on the darkness too much,
I keep my eyes to the paradise I want,
there is never a catch of certainty, always a hunch,
Im just an ant to them who cannot even punch.

Maybe letting them directly shape me is better
than shaping myself with assumptions and thoughts.
Maybe coping with their strength is better
than picking their rubbish with a bunch of rats.

Maybe if I also turned a blind eye
like what most of them buy
then I guess I wouldn't be this way,
I wouldn't be sitting alone along the way.

Crumpled by their sweet trophies
I was there looking like a pathetic piece,
it would've been better if I am atleast whole
but Im just here with my envy eyes inside a hole.

Maybe Im just at the wrong island,
maybe I'll find a place and create a good bond,
maybe I'll find a place where they appreciate nature's color,
maybe I'll find a place where they'll open me a door.

This classroom is just different,
with their title of wisdom there is something to hold
but I can't with their twisted smiles,
I can't with their masked warmth that hides the cold.


© Joy