i wrote a draft called
forever until morning
about how life with my
verbally abusive ex
was about our foreverness of the
sleepless nights
wrapped in sheets
our chemistry like an art

and how we were forever
until morning came through
and the imperfections of us
beamed through
technicolor glass
our silhouettes in the moonlight,
like stars dancing.

the imperfections of us
could only tell me vulnerability
equaled pain and self doubt
i was not told loving you
meant losing my self respect.

i refused to acknowledge that
i was being drained of my stability
being preyed on
for the things that made me precious.

i cannot describe the stillness now
unsure of talking about feelings
saying the wrong thing
treading lightly
where you were easygoing and relaxed
i was effervescent and wild

i burnt myself out when i realized...