A life filled with confusion
Dreams twisted with delusion
Escaping through the gap
Frantically trying to get back
Jumping every hurdle and missing it by one
Always assuming and believing it was easy for none

But when the chaos stopped
And everything just ceased
I felt my stomach drop
Like the old me was deceased

A part of me had died
Trying to fight so long
And all those tears I'd cried
From feeling I did not belong

Being told that I was strong
Singing the saddest song
Temporary pains felt too long
Finally finding out I wasn't wrong

Medications plagued me with psychosis
Syringes filled with lethal doses
Enabling hypnosis
Pouring into all my veins
Corrupting my aching brain
Bringing shame to my whole name
And somehow I'm the one to blame

How exactly could that be?
How could they not see?
How could they not tell?
Hiding behind a mask so put together
And wrapped ever so tight
Pretending all is well

All wasn't well, it never was
Chaos and pain plagued me, as it always does
I acted like it was okay
Then cried the night away
The next day it would repeat
A cycle I could just never truly beat

I'm not able to sleep at night
When nothing in my life feels right
Not knowing who I am and where it all fell apart
But I will say I'm thankful
For the days and nights where I felt shattered
For all the days and nights where I truly felt I never mattered
It all brought me to this new start
To relearn who I am
And who I want to be
This is the one that will finally set me free
And aid to heal my broken heart

🤍Thank you all so, so much for reading!! I'm happy to finally get back into writing a bit more again. It's been a little while now. I'd had surgery a month ago, but all is well now and I'm grateful to be okay. Appreciate you so much and wishing everyone the very, very best🤍

© Sierra321