I’m moving with currents,
To convince me, I’m fine.
Drawing brilliant endings,
Do it all of the time.

I don’t know where to go.
I don’t know what to find.
I don’t know what is real.
I don’t know how to try.

Searching the way,
To defeat states of mind.
My thoughts forming weapons.
I Don’t know how they’re mine.

I don’t know where they’re from.
I don’t know if they lie.
I've no reason to live,
I have no right to die.

In this sea of doubt,
No lighthouse stands.
Guided by shadows,
A dark future that’s planned

Not knowing the answers,
Or even the reasons.
Each question is a path
Toward my demons in legions.

Steps are uncertain,
Holding breath till I’m blue.
My lungs, a mosaic.
A spectrum out of hue.

The artist with no muse.
His canvas that skews.
He's painted his dreams
To these songs out of tune.

Riding the waves,
Oars washed ashore.
There’s an art to surviving
The depths of my lore.

I hear a voice calling,
Opposite of the floor,
Where I stare in despair,
Wondering what it’s for.

I don’t trust myself,
Or anything else.
Can anyone else trust
The feelings they’ve felt?

Do you wake up in dread?
Do you bleed just to be?
Do you hang your head walking?
Do you sleep without sleep?

Maybe it's just me,
This much seems to be.
I’m alone in the sea,
On the tides of agony.

This world isn’t for me.
And it never will be.
Forsaken by my maker.
I must’ve done an ill deed.

So I’m moving with currents,
To pretend I don’t mind.
Drawing weapons against
My numb, hopeless mind.

This can't be reality.
I know I must find,
A better way to live.
Or a faster way to die.

© Derek 'Abraxas Rebxrn'