u think I've left u,
and u think I'm cold,
u think I'm with someone else,
if only u knew what u think u know,
now I get u heard me speak to a male when I accidentally dialed ur number on my phone, but ur forgetting I borrowed a friend's car I had to return and she is married why must I explain myself when ur the reason I ain't by your side no more, ur the reason I ain't tell u shit no more and ur the reason I am leaning on others for a car if I really had u would I not have one of ur 3 considering I have paid for repairs but idc I'm just glad ur shit ain't broken I know the feels and I don't want u to feel that shi. this hurts believe me I understand that more then u know look at nearly everything Ive ever fuckiin wrote, it's all about u,or about, how I am feeling alone.
I ain't understand why I am home and I am breaking, from all the deaths and devestation,yet u are gone on some celebration while I'm alone u can't sympathize and expect me to stay strong, and have trust with lil communication not time spent and no compromisation.
I can't help but wonder why u point out my flaws and push me down when I fall, yet I still love u all along what's unanswered point it out and question wtf I am fucking up for like why are the kids late to school why and I sleeping why am I smoking why am I drinking but u was like I was saying u was neglecting not just me but even ur love cos u was blinded and u couldn't see the shit I was going through alone and u let me ,all I can think is where did I go wrong i can't keep pretending I am strong, when deep down I am turning into someone I don't even know, I look in the mirror like I don't even know that girl but then put me beside u and I feel complete in this fucked up world, I gotta do what I have to do for now, if u ain't gonna wait and do what is needed to convince me ur safe for us all to be around, then I'll have to find strength from the bottom of a black hole jist enough to keep my kids going so they are strong enough when they are old enough to go, u think I don't need u ur insane u think I ain't committed to u and I'm disloyal, boy u got me wrong I ain't play that game, that shit ain't for me if I ain't want u I'll make it clear for u to see I won't lead u on with any kind of fantasy I need u to show me more then I been seeing I gotta feel what u say u feel or I can't believe the shit is real I can't sleep I can't eat I can't concentrate I feel weak I am a zombie I see night through to daen the sun rises And falls I watch the kids sleep then I get them up take them to school and it all Fuckiin repeats I dont feel right I want to be at home I want to have u by my side but I want to know ur safe for us the words ain't enough I need actions from u today and not temporary but real Fuckiin action to back up the shit u speak
© sandiiRsalt