While looking through a mirror
I wrote a poem to my other self
An amalgam of thought pieced
Through my mind, thus sending
Shadows on the back of my eyes
And my tear-stained eyes glare
At the reflection of my torn self.

Do you know how cold I get at night?
Even on the warmest nights
How my mind soars across broken
Windows and torn doors
If you knew I was drowning
Would you rescue my soul?
If you knew I was falling apart
Would you deliver me from disparity?

Do you know how lonely I get?
Even with people around me
But I just feel like I don't fit in
I listen to music to tame
My suicidal thoughts.

Do you know that everyday
I wake up with pillows drenched in tears?
That sometimes I want to give up
I could end it, end everything
So that I don't ever feel this way again
I don't have friends but there are lots
Of friendly faces around me
Maybe it's just me
Fated to loneliness.

I can smile and laugh
But on the back of my mind
I know that I am pretending
I don't know happiness
There always a bit of darkness
To everything I do, like a dark
Cloud creating a dark cold shade
Around me, I've tried running
But I guess the world isn't that vast
And there is nowhere to hide.

I wish I was normal
But the reality keeps enfolding
That I am me and this is my life.

© Lundi Ncuthu