With a sprinkle of laughter,
a smirk here,
and anger there,
see others here,
physically and on the phone,
going through things,
life's worries,
being a happy mess,
not caring,
with no choice but to care.

Wondering with every contact,
how they attain such,
stained by the memories of my past,
it really is funny how I am not such.

Commiting the unthinkable,
life not worth living,
I tell myself,
is it worth dieing?

Trying to find the will to live,
create goals that will keep me geared up
ticking off my list,
tasks done up.

Future ambitions,
such achievements,
is that you i hear?
the audacity.

Still lost in my hollow self,
a true worthless life,
I seem not admit.

Pathetic am I,
can't even get a nine,
who...