He gave me most of my good qualities.
He was a strong man.
He was a rolling stone.
He was funny.
He was honest.
He was intelligent.
He was a good father.
He provided me a safe place and love on the weekends when visiting him.
He made breakfast and dinner every time.
He took me hiking.
He took me fishing.
He took me canoeing.
He took me on vacations up north.
He encouraged me.
He praised me.
He was my best friend.
He never got to know any of my four children.
He never got to know my wife.
Nor my brother's child and his wife.
Because he drank too much.
So now I just wonder what you would think of us.
Are you proud?
Are you there?
Somewhere?
Waiting?
Watching?
Laughing?
I pretend you are nevertheless.
I actually just wanted to say thank you.
And I miss you.
And I'm not mad about anything.
And I'm sorry I wasn't there at the end.
And that I quit drinking myself.
And that was the hardest thing I ever had to do.
So I get it.

© Michael J Harris