Tired as am I,
weary is my soul and mind
from indulging
in these poisonous but addictive tasks.

But for what reason?
What was the reason for my beginning?
I wonder,
the hope and motivation I felt someday,
where did they all vanish?

The reason of my fallings,
a sickness for an illness,
a disorder, a crazy mind,
All demons I have to keep fighting,
fighting a war from dawns till
fighting countless wars,
An army of thoughts and only Me.

I wonder if I will ever win?
And if I don't win, can I at least be
at peace one day ?

I am tired of reminding myself.
I don't find any meaning anymore,
everything seems for naught,
why doI keep on reminding myself to continue this,
when I have no single idea where it might lead me?


I am so so tired,
but now even sleep is abandoning me and headaches have become my best friend.

Why, and for what reason can't I see the light, when I tend to lose it in the darkness,
Is it so dim that even my open windows won't let them in?

I hope,
Hope to let it in,
and lead me on the path of bliss.
Please,
let me find you and embrace you.




© Ophelia